Enough awards, challenges, and tags for today. I’m going to do the rest tomorrow. I still have a couple left but I don’t want to bore you with all of that. So this time, I’m going to give the guys here some tips on how to TURN-OFF girls—if there’s just way too many attracted to you. There are already hundreds of articles on how to attract girls. Let’s do the opposite. Seriously, if you’ve got, like, a thousand girls obsessed with you and they are starting to get out of control (wow, you must be a very, very handsome guy), you’re going to need this.
1) Don’t use deodorant, cologne, soap or anything that will make you smell like a sweet midnight dessert ready to be eaten. Please! Have mercy! Smell is powerful. One good whiff can make a girl faint, trust me. So please try to smell like garbage, rotten food, and poop combined, okay?
2) For some reason, some guys think that if they’re already taken, these girls will stop being attracted to them. Quite the opposite actually because girls like what’s forbidden. They’ll find you even more tempting because of that and for sure, they’ll find a way to get you. I’m not saying you need to break-up with your girlfriend though. I’m just saying, don’t use your girlfriend as a shield.
3) Same with pretending to be gay. Even if you’re “on the same team” as them, as long as you’re hot, girls will still be attracted to you anyway. Come on, Matt Bomer? He’s gay, he’s married, but that didn’t stop me from crushing on him. He’s just so sexy!
4) Don’t be an *sshole. Yup. If you think that the awful attitude will turn them off then you are wrong. Girls like the bad boys so much so if you want them to ‘unlike’ you, then you gotta be the nicest guy ever and do the nicest things for them. Based on a scientific research (believe science, guys), the nice guys are usually the ones who end up in the friend-zone. So be the nice guy instead.
5) If all else fails, act like a psychopath or sociopath or whatever a serial killer is. No one likes a crazy murderer. To make sure that they will believe you and never ever like you anymore, kill a girl or two. Better yet, kill all of those girls attracted to you. Problem solved.
Real talk though, did you actually take note of these tips? Because, wow, you must think that you’re really one hella attractive guy to even finish reading this. You must be living a hard life, huh? Too attractive and all that? Aww. Poor guy. I hope this will help.
Thank you so much to The Pondering Poet Pilot for suggesting that I do this kind of post. I’m sorry it took so long but I kept my promise. Here it is! I hope your problem with the multiple girls is resolved now. Wish you all the best, buddy! *winks*