Sometimes, I have this uncanny feeling that my gadgets (like the laptop, smartphone, tablet, etc.) are connected to some secret organization spying on me that’s why I often cover the lenses of my gadgets whenever I use them just in case they are recording me. Not that they can get anything important out of me if they did that and it’s not like it’ll make a difference if I just covered the lenses, but you know, you can never be too safe in this world full of conspiracies.
Sometimes (no, actually I do this all the time), whenever I go to a place I’m unfamiliar with, perhaps a house I’ve never been to or a new place I am visiting, I always look around and check for possible hiding spots in case a murderer comes in…or when zombies pop out all of a sudden. Just in case. I even plan a strategy of attack. You never know what might happen! At least I’m prepared. Better safe than sorry, right?
Sometimes, I stare at a random item in the grocery store and ask myself, “If I slipped this into my shirt and casually walked out of the store, would they know?” I just want to find out if the security system really works.
That and if I also have the skills of a ninja.
Sometimes, when I’m out somewhere, I have this paranoia that any one of these people around me is a mind reader. I would shout, “I know you’re a mind reader. Stop reading my mind!” but only in my head. And, for good measure, I add, “I will sue you for invasion of privacy if you don’t!” just to be sure that he stops reading my mind. My secrets and I can never be too safe, you know.
Sometimes, when I poop, I become paranoid and ask myself, “What if I’m actually schizophrenic and just imagining things? What if I’m really sitting in a crowded place, like a restaurant, and I’m just there pooping because I thought I was in the bathroom and people are watching?” Crazy people don’t know that they’re crazy, right? So, how will I know what is real? *gasps* What if my blog is an hallucination and you’re all just my imagination too? Oh, no.
Sometimes, when I’m in a really bad mood, I imagine stabbing these annoying people with a very dull knife. The harder it is to cut through their flesh and skin, the longer their suffering would be. The more fun and satisfaction I’d get from torturing them before they die. Yup. This is probably the darkest, most disturbing, evil thought I’ve ever had. We’re all allowed to have evil thoughts once in a while, right? Especially when all these people are being stupid jerks. It’s healthy! Oh, I hope this doesn’t make me a psycho. I’m too cute to be a psycho. If ever, I’m going to be the cutest psycho out there. But, no. I’m not a psycho. Note: I’m not a psycho!
Sometimes, I imagine the world naked. Like, literally naked. No clothes on. Just people running around naked. Nothing to hide and nothing to be ashamed of. Comfortable with their own bodies, completely free. Don’t you wanna live in a world like that?
Then I realize how creepy I am for imagining naked bodies in full detail. In full detail! Ugh. It’s like making a nightmare myself. Is there a way to unthink it or something?