(This is a deviation from my usual humorous posts. I didn’t write this post to argue. I wrote this to explain the perspective of a Christian like me who is caught between love and faith.)
I have nothing against the LGBT community and I wanna keep supporting them. I am not against same-sex relationships. I am a hopeless romantic who believes that love will win all the way and I felt happy when I heard the news that, for the LGBT community in USA, it is true, that love does win. But as a Christian, I feel so conflicted. I think of marriage this way: It is like this bond that binds a man and a woman for life and makes them one in the eyes of God. It is something exclusive to a male and a female, a husband and a wife. It’s what we were taught and it is what we believe. No one can change the view of marriage that I have and I have my reasons why. But I also believe in the greatness of love. Love will win no matter what. But, if my faith defines my concept of marriage, how can I still believe that love wins no matter what? How could I say that I support the LGBT community if I don’t believe that marriage is for them? Am I not contradicting myself? What really is it that I am standing for? Love or my faith? This is the kind of conflict that I have.
When USA legalized gay marriage on June 26, 2015, it became so controversial everywhere. It still is. It was such a huge step. Now, Christians are alarmed. My country has been talking about it. Lots of debates are happening. What is wrong, what is right? Should same-sex marriage be legalized or not? There are no verses in the Bible that states that people of the same sex can be married…nor are there verses that directly says they can’t be. However, there are Bible verses against the physical acts of homosexuality. That is the issue. They say that it is not natural for two people who are of the same sex to form a romantic and intimate bond. We aren’t made that way. It might be true but does that mean it is wrong? There are verses in the Bible that consider it an abomination, something sinful. It’s in our faith as Christians to consider the sexual acts between the same-sex as such. However, part of being married is, of course, to be sexually intimate with their husband or wife. Marriage has the gift of procreation and pleasure, something God gave to a husband and a wife. But it is also a way to show love. Two men together don’t have the ability to procreate but can they still have the pleasure that is meant for a man and a woman? Can we allow them to show their love for each other? Or should we deny them that because the Bible said so? This is why Christians are so against same-sex marriage. If we are legalizing same-sex marriage, then that means we are also allowing what the Bible considers as wrong, an abomination. But, really, is it wrong? Do Christians have the right to say what is wrong or what is right? Yes, Christians have the right to express their opinions — their objection to same-sex marriage — but do they really know what is wrong and what is right? Do they have the final say on what should be legal and what shouldn’t be?
What most Christians forget, and what I almost forgot too, is that a civil marriage is different from the marriage based on the Bible. My definition of marriage — a union between a man and a woman — is a Christian one and, as I said earlier, it is never going to change but it doesn’t mean that it should also be my definition of a civil marriage. A civil marriage is bound by the law and a Christian marriage is bound by God. Not everyone believes in God but everyone has to follow the law. What the LGBT community wants is that their marriage to be accepted by the law, to have that legal bond and make it official so they can have the same rights and benefits as those of a hetero couple. It doesn’t have anything to do with faith or religion. It’s all about being able to genuinely love a person, having that kind of freedom, and form a family with him or her, without worrying if it’s illegal. The Christian Church has no say with the matters of the civil law. We can keep our definition of marriage — we have the right — but the separation of the Church and the state is inviolable and I, speaking as a Christian, should know this. Gay marriage, no matter who or what are against it and no matter how hard they fight against it, can still be legalized if the state chooses to, and faith and religion cannot intervene in that decision. But that is not the point. Even if not everyone believes in God and even if the Church doesn’t have the power over the state, we still believe in the Bible. It is the Word of God and, for us, it is final. People should understand that even if it’s fairy tale for them, it’s real for us. What the Bible says, we must follow, so this is where the conflict comes in for me.
I am trying to understand the point of view of the LGBT community, their feeling of knowing that the kind of love they have is illegal. Of course, they want their love to be legal and official through marriage. It would really hurt to have a relationship that is deemed unacceptable or forbidden. There should be nothing wrong with loving someone. Love is love. It’s not a sin and never will be. But the problem is that my country is majorly Christian. Even though the church and the government are two separate entities, our laws are easily influenced by faith and our faith states that marriage is the union between a man and a woman. That’s what I believe and it’s not going to change. But I also strongly believe this: Now these three remain; faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love. (1 Corinthians 13:13) As a Christian, I believe that, through and through, love is the greatest and it’s true for all no matter what your sexual orientation is. This is also one of the things that we were taught as a Christian. Love will always win. It is what matters most. But I still have this inner conflict. Right now, I am caught between love and faith. Being a Christian also means that you are a person of faith, and having faith in God and His Words means that we also need to follow what the Bible says about marriage. So, what is it that I should stand for then, the teachings of my faith about marriage or my belief that love is still the greatest, even more so than faith?
My country is still far from considering the legalization of same-sex marriage. Or maybe it’s considering it now, I don’t know. I know that the Christian Church will never accept same-sex marriage. It goes against the definition of marriage in the Bible. But if our laws accept it, I will be extremely happy for the LGBT community in my country. I will be cheering side by side with my gay friends. But I’ll also feel sad for them because most of them are Christian. They know that even if their marriage can be legalized, it will never be accepted by the Church. They can never have its blessing. And there will still be Christians who are going to see them as sinners despite the legalization. But the truth is, whether the Bible condemned homosexuality or not, it’s still up for discussion. Even so, it’s not our place to condemn anyone. There are still a lot of teachings in the Bible that we, Christians, have to consider and reconsider. One thing is for sure though. Jesus taught us love and compassion and these are the teachings that I’m going to hold on to. Love or my faith? Let’s just say that, for me, having faith in God is also believing that love is the greatest.
Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.