Life Choices

Would you rather that you’ve got life figured out, you’re at the top, but you’re also aware that it’s full of tragedy? Life is unfair but you have what they call “luck.” You’re successful, you’ve got answers, everything comes easy, but people come and leave, and you know that nothing is permanent. Because of that, you fear the future.

Would you rather not know if you’ll make it or not, if you’ll ever get answers? You’re clueless. You don’t know which path to take or if you’ll ever find direction, and this makes you feel like a failure. But ignorance is bliss, they say, and the only thing you know you can do for now is to get through the present, which is hard enough.

Would you rather that you live a careful life? You know you’ve made mistakes, you have your regrets, so you want to make things right this time. You’re careful not to pick the wrong choices again. But you’re also stuck. Because your fear of mistakes, your fear of the past, your fear that something might go wrong again keeps holding you down.

Which kind of life would you rather have?

Writing VS. Blogging?

Lately, I’ve seen a couple of posts about this and I wanna share my take on it, too. Obviously, there’s a difference. While writing can be a way to blog, not all blogs just focus on writing. Nothing is set in stone here though. But I just want to share what I think as both a casual blogger and a writer wannabe myself.

Actually, this is something I just realized now. For me, the greatest difference between writing (fiction) and blogging has nothing to do with the technical aspects of it. The difference lies in the reason why I’m doing it. By reason, I mean the people I’m doing it for.

I write for the readers. Whenever I write, I always consider what my potential readers would love or enjoy. It’s not necessarily about impressing them but I do want my writing to affect them in some way. I want my writing to stir something in them may it be an emotion, a memory, a feeling, or an insight, positive or not. It makes me happy when people react to my writing one way or another.

On the other hand, I blog for myself. I blog because I want to have a release. To express myself and unleash these heavy thoughts that’s been occupying me. Sharing it with people is just a part of it but I don’t really dwell on what the readers would think of my posts. I blog because I have something to say; whether someone reads my blog or not, it’s not really the most important part of it. (But, of course, I’m still very grateful when people read my posts and share their thoughts with me as well.)

I can’t say this enough though, this is only my personal take on it. I don’t know, other people might have it the other way around or it might work for them in a completely different way. But to me, this is how I see the difference between writing and blogging. Regardless, as long as people find both activities fulfilling, the differences don’t really matter.

Random Question of the Day

If you were given the chance to commit the worst possible crime, what would it be and most importantly, what would your motives be?

This is one of the questions that people won’t probably discuss so openly. A guilty pleasure of mine is taking a look at the darker side of human nature—what humans can do out of anger, pride, envy, desperation, or insanity. We try to conceal these things because these things are not good. Quite an understatement. But maybe, just maybe, if we try to get in touch with this side of humanity, we would be able to understand how criminal minds work and use it to our advantage to prevent bad things from happening.

Or maybe I’ve just had too much of dark psychological thrillers that’s why I have these thoughts. I should stop watching those.

If you could be a high school student again, what would you do differently?

I just finished this wonderful anime series called ReLIFE. It’s about a 27-year-old guy who is unable to get a stable job. But one night, he was approached by a man and offered him a pill that can turn him back into his senior high school self so he can experience youth once again and reevaluate his present life. In the process, not only does he learn more about his life, the students around him are also learning from him to enjoy their youth and make the most out of the moment.

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I probably didn’t do justice for the series with that synopsis but I swear, this anime has such a good, sincere story. Funny at times, but mostly heartfelt. It touched on themes like friendship, hard work, youth, as well as adulthood. It was the perfect time for me to watch this anime since I’m graduating this February and I’ll soon be entering the world of adults. This anime made me realize that being an adult doesn’t mean you have to let go of your innocence and passion just so you can survive in the harsh demands of life.

What I like about this anime is that it is also realistic in some sense. It never gave me a false hope that everything will be easy or that things will become better soon, I only have to believe. No. I have to work hard too. I need to be strong and firm with my decisions but I should never forget that I am also living in present. Play sometimes. Be wild, be free. I’ll regret that I wasted my whole life with just working and working and working. That’s not what living is all about. The point is to also have fun and make the most out of every moment. If I’m going to work hard I have make sure that it’s worth working hard for. I shouldn’t just give in to the pressure of life. It will all be pointless if in the end, it never gave me happiness.

Hopeless Feeling

The more you stare at the blank sheet, the more hopeless you feel. It’s like going around in circles or more like meeting a dead end, you’re not sure. You can’t seem to choose which metaphor better fits the feeling so you flip a coin. But even the coin doesn’t want to decide for you, it keeps rolling away from your reach. So time passes. There’s still nothing on the page. The day ends and you fall asleep, hoping the next day will bring you an answer. But as you wait, the sheet rots. As time passes, you lose hope. You lose grip of your reality. You lose sight of your dreams. A story needs to be written but you don’t realize, you let go of your pen. But it’s too late now to look for it, the sheet has faded.

(Maybe I’m having a quarter-life crisis. I don’t know why I have such sad thoughts right now when it’s Christmas! This day should be cheerful and hopeful. So what’s wrong with me? Why now? Ugh. I hate that I’m feeling this way. I hope you all have a happy Christmas day!)